Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. -
Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.

So I decide to put the bills back on the table & take out the garbage first..
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox
when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table,
and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study,
so I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks,
but first I need to push the Pepsi aside
so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm.

I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold..
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye..

They need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and
discover my reading glasses that
I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk,
but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter,
fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote
someone had left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I’ll be looking for the remote,
but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table,
so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs.

But first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers.
Quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:
the car isn’t washed
the bills aren’t paid
there is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter
the flowers don’t have enough water,
there is still only 1 check in my check book,
I can’t find the remote,
I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done,
I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day,
and I’m really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem,
and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail…..

Drawing on talent from comics, street art and graphic design, the artists from Elite Gudz create applications that are surprisingly rich in wit and backstory. This is especially prevalent in their latest entertainment app, Spray Face, where the main objective is shake off your junk all over your friends face.

Yup, you heard that right.

Users find themselves at Sullie’s Jerk Chicken Diner. Hygiene and customer service are not Sullie’s strong points, and he doesn’t much care for the likes of you or your friends; at his diner, anyone is fair game for a splatter. Take a picture, take an order, shake it up and let it fly on anyone you wanna cream. The ridiculously funny infomercial walkthrough says it all: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMiKyooBqvA.  If you didn’t get the innuendo yet, you will now.

There’s actually nothing objectionable about this app. It’s photo manipulation with a unique interface (hah, face) and eye-catching art from Elite Gudz’ stock of comic talent. It’s rated 12+ partly for “tobacco use,” a diner cook smokes a cigarette in the load screen, and “mild profanity,” possibly due to the “send it to ya motha” option, which lets you email your pic, and post to Facebook and Twitter. Now, maybe your mom gets spray faced every night, but the rest of us will probably keep to spraying our friends.

Spray Face is 99¢ on iTunes at iSprayFace.com and works with iPhone, iPod and iPad. Get it now before someone Spray Faces you.