Bama's List

We’ve long believed there is only one simple, undeniable truth in this world:

Bigger is always better.

Just ask Shaq, Dolly Parton or a certain legend by the name of Mr. Smalls.

And if history has taught us anything, it’s that nowhere is this axiom more true than in the realm of hamburgers.

And here, on this dreary, rainy day, we’re pleased to bring you word that history has once again demonstrated that what’s true for Dolly Parton is true for everyone.

Today, we bring you burgers, and today, we bring you… huge.

It comes in the form of a massive Midtown burger palace called Bill’s Bar & Burger.

You know this name, precisely because it’s the same Bill’s that’s been steadying you to greet the sunrise on many a Gansevoort Street night. Only much, much larger.

There are very clear uses for this beef patty paradise: like finally inviting the entire cast and crew of SNL out for lunch in the neighborhood. Or maybe you just need a spot to bring 400 of your most valued employees out for a night of trust building. (The burgers help.)

The standout menu items: the English-muffined Fat Cat (caramelized onions and cheese), the Bobcat (guac and green chili) and new bar snacks like the oyster-laden Rockefeller Salad. Also, two gigantic bars housing 80 varieties of draft and bottle, including the Triple B, made for this new Bill’s by the brewers at Sixpoint.

Tina Fey is going to be all over this one.

You’ve never been good with names.

Faces, sure. Cocktails, obviously. But names are just not in your strengths column.

So we think we may have stumbled onto a place that may feel well-suited…

It’s called…actually, it’s not called anything (for the moment, at least). And it’s opening in a matter of hours.

Here’s what you need to know: it’s a bar opening on the hush-hush. It used to be a small, nondescript pizza shop. And it now deals in oysters and burgers and rock and roll. On top of a speakeasy. Rest easy knowing that the speakeasy, Cabin Down Below, is still alive and dealing in hipsters, loud music and strong cocktails. But in place of mozzarella and red sauce, upstairs you’ll find exposed brick, tufted black leather banquettes, an old chandelier or two and just enough light to see Agyness Deyn sitting in the corner.

Brought to you by the same gents who’ve gathered the attractively pouty rock-and-roll scenesters at Bowery Electric and next-door East Village staple Niagara, you can expect the same upscale dive-bar feel, just with a few more bivalves, some intricate cocktails and a windowed smokers’ patio that lets you keep your eye on the scene inside.

There’s even a rumor that a piano may end up in the corner—you know, just in case you get inspired to perform.

That means you can leave your stand-up bass at home.

Opening tonight at 6pm for drinks, food service begins next week

Bar Above Cabin 110 Ave A (at E Seventh St) New York, NY 10009

	VITALS The Mac and Cheese Burger at Burger Shoppe 30 Water St (at Broad) New York, NY 10004 212-425-1000 official website

If you are picturing a meager burger topped with a clump of yellow mac and cheese, it’s time to think just a little bit bigger… Sure, it all starts innocently enough—a mix of cheddar, American, pecorino and Gruyère cheeses with ground Hereford beef—but don’t be deceived: this little devil is packing something extra. That something: macaroni, cooked, salted and packed inside the burger before it hits the grill, so by the time it starts to cook, the cheese, beef and macaroni become one charred, melted, buttery unit of deliciousness.

And to top things off, you’ll notice a few homemade Gruyère bread crumbs and a generous ladling of homemade cheese sauce on the patty.

You should also know that they’re not putting it on the menu, so you’ll have to ask for it by name. Or, to avoid alarming other blissfully naive customers, write it on a slip of paper and slide it across the counter before muttering, “Just put the macaroni in the burger.”

The seven most beautiful words in the English language.

Mac and Cheese Burger, available now at Burger Shoppe, 212-425-1000